One day I was the sponsor for my son at his Confirmation and the next day I was persona non grata. Even worse…… He had open disdain for me and became angry whenever I tried to have a father/son discussion or even talk with him. “Don’t ask me about how I am doing, my education, my interests or hobbies, my plans, my friends…..” was the typical reaction even to my presence. Prior to that point we had a good relationship. It was an intellectual connection. My son was/is smart. But something changed our relationship so profoundly that I am amazed it isn’t obvious to everyone.
Incidentally, on multiple occasions during counseling sessions my ex would tell the counselor that my relationships with my children were better in her absence. How absolutely true. That was no Freudian slip. It was just the plain truth. Mental health professionals and the court appointed nincompoops couldn’t see through the smoke and mirrors. And without each child understanding the source of dysfunction and establishing boundaries with their mother, reconnecting will not happen. Utterly sad and despicable. Psychological Pathologies are a bitch. They ruin families and worse, are passed on generationally. I am sure that is how they arrived in my own family. “This kind of person is not born, they are made,” says Dr. Craig Childress.
I understand why a person caught in the mode of an encapsulated persecutory delusion might be subject to anxiety and depression. An important, solid and healthy relationship was ripped from their life and they cannot consciously grasp the meaning of it or question why it happened. They must accept the new narrative and learn to cope with the control freak and the subtle and always destructive demands on their psyche. They must even tacitly agree with their abusers and accept the worldview they espouse. So much for individuation and healthy development of the self. Objectification of the child for the purpose of mediating one’s own pathology is a case for confirmed child abuse. The effects extend well into adulthood of the victim.
Thankfully there is a way out of this trap but it takes insight, knowledge and initiative. Oh yes, and separation from the pathological, inauthentic and abusive person.
Delusions – Encapsulated Delusions – Encapsulated Persecutory Delusions
Parental Alienation is Psychological Child Abuse 