Parents who have experienced Attachment-Based Parental Alienation understand the pathological nature of this mental disorder.  

In the linked video the ‘Enlightened Target’ describes the three levels exhibited by an Alienator.  The levels are 1- Naïve, 2- Active and 3- Obsessed Alienators. These are based on the Gardnerian model of PA.  Levels 1 and 2 indicate that the Alienator is amenable to understanding their mental disturbances and can change their behavior.  Level 3 (Obsessed) Alienators are pathological in their critical thinking and behavior.  

The ‘Enlightened Target’ does a great job of describing the Level 3 or Obsessed Alienator, how they think, how they operate and how they affect those around them.  

Dr. Craig Childress expounds on the Obsessed Alienator and shows in his book “Foundations” how this pathology results in a diagnosis of “Child Abuse – Confirmed” based on existing and accepted psychological constructs. 

Unfortunately, children don’t understand how they have been manipulated and controlled and how their narratives are mirror images of their abusers’ fantastic lies.  It takes time, curiosity, education, clarity of thought and separation from the Obsessed Alienator for the victims of Parental Alienation to break through the mental blocks and see the truth.

Thomas Doheny was 51 years old. He was taken to court 260 times in two years in order to pay 20,000 dollars a month for child support. The judge did not want to listen to his amendment to adjust his payment. Held him in contempt of court.

Link: https://patch.com/illinois/crystallake/cary-man-committed-suicide-mchenry-jail-cell-source

Here is the website to his obituary. Sign the guestbook.

Website to his obituary: http://www.davenportfamily.com/notices/ThomasTom-Doheny

Destroyers of Relationships That They Themselves Cannot Have

One way for a narcissistic parent to retain their source(s) of supply is by disrupting their children’s ability to individuate and develop personally. The narcissist does not want the child(ren) to develop apart from them and will use different methods to slow and stop their advancement in relationships, personal growth and intellectual development. Enmeshment is one of those methods.

One way to identify enmeshment is to observe the emotional, physical and mental ‘tracking’ that occurs between the parties. If a child says, “I love my (parent). I practically am my parent,” this might be a symptom of the lack of personal individuation of that child. Enmeshment can result in what is known as an ‘undifferentiated ego mass.” This unfortunate condition describes the enmeshment of the psyches of two persons in an unhealthy dyad of dysfunction where the child is being used as an object by the parent for the purpose of mediating their own pathology(ies).

Teal Swan does a great job explaining this serious condition which the victim must come to understand in order for them to reject it and regain their emotional and psychological health, and to develop a healthy personality, free of nuanced coercion. It often starts with physical separation, re-establishing lost relationships and creating safe boundaries with the perpetrator.

Recalling the 3 E’s: 1) Lack of Empathy, 2) Exploitative Nature and 3) Sense of Entitlement, it’s time to look at reasons why narcissistic types have serial adulterous affairs. These affairs can include close family members such as in-laws, cousins, aunts/uncles, immediate family (incest) and family friends, business associates, neighbors, younger and more vulnerable types.  Most of the narcissist’s relationships lack any intimacy.  They will often involve sexual seduction of whoever is available as a narcissistic supply (think pool boy, handyman, in-law, neighbor, visitor, etc).  The narcissist sees the ‘excitement’ of an affair as intimacy when it is really very superficial.  This stems from incomplete and/or improper attachment formation in childhood and very often, the presence of sexual/psychological abuse at the hands of a family member or family friend during normal childhood development stages.  As stated before, narcissistic personality disorder is a generational phenomenon which often transfers from parent to child.  Unfortunately, NPD is generally an untreatable pathology and few narcissists ever present themselves for treatment.

You cannot have an intimate relationship with a narcissist

BINGO!!!

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Origins

This is an amazing story about how narcissists behave.  I have experienced this since my ex changed lawyers like underpants and finally had one ‘withdraw’ counsel from my ex.  The interesting thing is that the attorney that withdrew counsel, CS had been implicated earlier in a quid-pro-quo case wherein the MN judge she represented in a divorce case was benched (very unusual) for CS having given the judge a deep discount on his attorney fees in exchange for his referrals to her from his position in the court.  So my ex and her stinky attorney were two ‘peas in a pod’ and I presume that even her attorney could not tolerate either the lying and/or constant abuse that flowed from my ex like a river.  My ex has gone through life living a lie.  She isn’t who people think she is…  Eventually the truth comes out and justice will not wait forever.  Karma.  Payback is … well … hell.

https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/hook-ups-break-ups/angelina-jolies-divorce-lawyer-quitting-over-unreasonable-hostile-behaviour/news-story/f01471ac36cf4df8410ed44ce3b9c11c

Angelina Jolie’s divorce lawyer ‘quitting’ over unreasonable, hostile behaviour

ANGELINA Jolie’s divorce lawyer is reportedly dropping the case amid rumours that the “unreasonable” star is “out for blood” and is trying to kill Brad Pitt’s relationship with his kids.